Once in a while, our neighboring Michiganders come up with a
good idea. Pitting the Lions against the Packers at the end of the
season was one good idea, along the lines of “feeding the needy.”
Here’s another one:
Being Annoying Now Illegal In Brighton
http://www.clickondetroit.com/news/18318880/detail.html
“BRIGHTON, Mich. — Since when did being annoying become a
crime? Since Brighton City Council approved a public conduct
code Monday night, which includes fining someone up to $500
for being annoying.
“One section of the bill reads, “It shall be unlawful for a person to
engage in a course of conduct or repeatedly commit acts that
alarm or seriously annoy another person and that serve no
legitimate purpose.”
That’s some pretty stern talk, and I like it! If we had such a law
here in Antigo, I’d march into the police station with latest copy
of the Antigo Daily Journal as soon as it hit the stands, every day.
I would announce, “I want to file the usual charges against this
course of conduct and these repeatedly committed acts that
alarm and seriously annoy me, and serve no legitimate purpose,
please.”
When the case got to court, I would bring a portable computer
and invite the judge to look at the Antigo Daily Journal web site.
There we’d do a short series of single-word searches in the ADJ
search box: grueling, grinding, unique, mishap, suggest.
“Wow,” would be the judge’s comment. “That’s clearly some of
the most annoying stuff I’ve ever seen. How do they get so many
misapplied cliches jammed into such short stories? $500 fines
are not enough for a crime like this. We’re going to have to issue
an injunction here!”
Of course, there may some misguided retaliatory attempt to
apply the ordinance to my own scribblings, but I’m sure that
case would be thrown out of court by a defense along the lines
of “justifiable homicide” or somesuch.
—-
I myself am not a reader of the Antigo Daily Journal (the ADJ as I see it so oft referred to it herein). However, I am an avid reader of novels great and small and have a appreciation for literature from the world over. I see grammatical errors everywhere and some even in the recent post so condescendingly bashing the ADJ’s grammar and overuse of commonly used words I like to think of as Hollywood’s styling put to pen. I concur that it seems quite monotonous as do the many other papers hitting the stands these days, but sensationalizing mundane idiots is what apparently sells papers. I’d thought for many years that the purpose of the news was to inform citizens of local and world events such as government issues, technology issues, economic issues with bits of relevant entertainment and of course, a few funnies to lighten the mood as there are not always enough stories about the great deeds of civility to write about (none that can be adequately sensationalized at the very least). However, I do find that in criticizing the one, the rest are just as guilty. Perhaps that makes me guilty as well, but then, if we’d simply all pay the fine the city could afford to create it’s own new paper called the Antigo Times (where your news is A.T.!) and we’d no longer have to listen to our incoherent platitudes and rambling tongues.